Ending things with a significant other or getting ghosted by someone who you opened up to is not an easy feat. For many, the actual thought of being alone is much scarier than moving on. If I’ve learned anything from being ghosted or dealing with heartbreak, it’s that the overall experience is worth the person you come out to be. Whether you’re stuck on the what-if’s of potential partners or you’ve mutually ended a relationship, take this moment to heal, flourish, and become the woman you want to be.
No matter if you’ve ended things or have been on the receiving end of a heartbreak, below are some things that helped get me through my healing process. My hope is that they will be able to help you too.
Your Feelings are Valid
From a personal standpoint, this may have been the hardest part of my healing process. I kept telling myself that if I was able to overcome the feeling of loneliness, I’d be able to overcome anything. With that said, the process was not quick. It took months for me to find the improved version of myself that I had been longing for. I found myself constantly avoiding my feelings in an attempt to erase them. I quickly learned, however, that I was doing myself a disservice.
If you find yourself doing this as well, I’d advise you to realize that you are experiencing feelings that are a natural part of life, and though you may not want to admit it, it’ll lead you to a version of yourself that you were meant to find. Don’t rush. It is okay to dwell on your feelings and be vulnerable around others and yourself. Remember that there is no “right time” to get up and move on. Your feelings, as overwhelming as they may feel, are valid and deserve your attention.
Remind Yourself of Who You Want to Become
Following my heartbreak, I knew that I wanted to focus on myself, I just hadn’t quite figured out how to do that. After a year of constant companionship, being alone felt foreign. In an attempt to ensure that I was both healing and moving on mentally, I gave myself five minutes a day to breathe and acknowledge my future goals. Following this process gave me an outlet and allowed me to reimagine the person I thought I had wanted to become.
On a daily basis, write down two emotions that you’ve been feeling, follow them up with three future goals. The two to three ratio will allow you to look toward the future and not the past. It’ll give you a clear mind and permit you to walk toward the person you want to become. The visualization process throughout this task is one of self-empowerment and improvement, whether you are going through heartbreak or not, I’d highly recommend it.
One Step Closer Toward the Woman You’re Meant to Be
Though it may seem hard to admit, this heartbreak served as a lesson. The version of yourself on the other side is much stronger than you had formerly believed it to be. Peace has re-entered your life and the self-sufficient woman sitting inside you is ready to come out. Know that the closure you’ve gained from this experience was all worth it. You can now use this experience to find a partner that you truly envision, even if that partner is yourself. Use this time to bring yourself to the speed you want and start a new hobby that’ll fulfill you spiritually, emotionally and mentally as you work toward a new and improved you.
Movie Recommendations
Below are a list of movie recommendations that have strong female leads. My hope is that they will all inspire you to find your purpose-driven self who knows her worth outside of a relationship.
- La La Land by Damien Chazelle
- Legally Blonde by Robert Luketic
- Hidden Figures by Theodore Melfi
- A League of Their Own by Penny Marshall
As cliche as this may sound, please remember that this pain is temporary. It is just a moment that will make you who you are. Be thankful for the experiences and find yourself. There’s only one life to live and so many people to meet, you’re one step closer to wherever you want to be.
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- Finding My Way Back: My Journey with Religion - October 28, 2020
